


Helm's Deep: Contemplations on the Much Discussed Whereabouts of the Horse and the Rider

by aldiara



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Double Drabble, Drabble Day 2019, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-27 19:10:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19797214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aldiara/pseuds/aldiara
Summary: In which Gandalf is fashionably late and Gamling is pretty fed up with his king-wrangling duties.





	Helm's Deep: Contemplations on the Much Discussed Whereabouts of the Horse and the Rider

**Author's Note:**

> Probably a very old-hat joke by now, but I've watched the LotR movies about a million times and these moments still crack me up every time. Written for [Drabble Day 2019](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/drabbleday/).

“Who am I, Gamling?” King Théoden asked in dreamy confusion.

Gamling sighed. _Here we go a-bloody-gain._ It was hard enough protecting one’s homeland and defending against the forces of darkness when one’s liege _didn’t_ unerringly pick the worst time to have his little identity crises.

“You are our king, sire,” Gamling explained as patiently as possible, then proceeded to strap Théoden into his armour since he never did manage to dress himself in these moods.

Théoden warbled on about where the horse and the rider were, which was actually a fantastic question. Bloody wizards. Bloody kings. Bloody useless feudal structures.

*

Up on the hill, Gandalf smoothed down his blindingly white robe and checked the position of the sun, again. 

Beside him, Éomer fidgeted. “Hadn’t we better ride, Gandalf?”

“It’s not yet dawn.”

“Yeh, but I thought that was… a general estimate.”

“My dear boy, we are looking to make an entrance. _At dawn, look to the east,_ I said, and I bloody meant dawn!” 

“Yes, but sire, our people are dying down there.”

“Dying, shmying. We are not here merely to fight this army, my good man. We are here to _dazzle and entrall._ Right, sunrise! Everybody go GO GO!”


End file.
